Emails to Set and Other Such Things
by stay.traught.i'm.deactivated
Summary: So, my friend dared me to do an OOC Set parody. I ask him personally via email and you get to see what he has to say. Who knew Set had such a ... colorful vocabulary? Rated K plus for language and because I am paranoid.


A/N: This is a crack fic, made for pure entertainment purposes and doing the dare that my friend, MuseGirltheauthor, gave me purposes only. I do not actually believe Set acts like this. People would think I had issues if I did. O_o And if he really did act like this… *shivers and gets weirded out* Yup, he's OOC(out of character), but that makes it more funner! ((Yeah, I know that's not a word.)) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I, Apollo Fowl II, do not own the Kane Chronicles in any way, shape or form. *sigh* I probably couldn't have written it any better anyways! :)

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><p><strong>Emails to Set ….and Other Such Things<strong>

I was curious of Set's thought on how he was portrayed in the Kane Chronicles and a few other things, so I decided to ask him. I knew it would piss him off anyway. And annoying gods is always fun! These are the emails I sent to him, and the replies he sent back. I apologize for his, um…. Language.

And for the record, my letters are in normal font, and his are in _italics_. We clear?

Good! :D

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><p>Dear Set,<p>

What do you really think of the way you were used by Apophis through Face-of-Horror? Were you offended? Did you feel honored? Yeah right... Please do tell.

-Apollo Fowl II

_Dear Fowl,_

_ You are as bad as your name sounds. Did you know that? And for the record, I knew all along that it was him. I was just... Playing along so I could defeat him and earn eternal glory and become king later on. And call me Rocking Red Reaper._

_-Rocking Red Reaper_

Dear **Set**,

I will not call you 'Rocking Red Whatever'. And I know you are lying! Tell the truth! It might come back to haunt you if you don't! O_o Karma will get you! If not Karma, then Eris or Nemesis will. Or the Greek goddess of truth, Alethea. She does not like lying... Trust me.

-Apollo Fowl II

_Foul,_

_ Did you like the way I spelled your name? :P That is the truth! I am really that awesome. They will sure make me king now! Then I will _Ha-di_ you into the deepest depths of the Duat. Now go eat a shoe._

_-Rocking Red Reaper_

Strawberry Set-cake,

*Alethea pops up and smacks Set across the face* "Do not lie!" Thanks Alethea! "No problem! *glares at Set and poofs back to Olympus*" And wow, some ego you got there, Set... Just warning you, I have your secret name and I will use it! And no one believes your pathetic excuse. Now man up and spill!

-Apollo Fowl II

_Birdbrain,_

_ I will not. That is the truth. I. Am. Awesome. Now please ask about something else. I have many more nicknames for you... Mwahahaha!_

_-Rocking Red Reaper_

Little Red Riding Hood,

I have more brain cells and insults than ten of you. So don't even **try** to go there. And Horus has a bird head too. He is pretty cool. Unlike some red god I know... *points at Set* Next question? Hm… How do you feel about Carter and Sadie technically being your nephew and niece, respectively? And Julius being your brother?

-Apollo Fowl II

_Foul Person,_

_ You know there is a gay super hero named Apollo? *smirks*_

_-Rocking Red Reaper_

Red Rover,

There is? And I'm a girl...

-AF II

_The Second Loser,_

_ O_o WTF? Then why is your name Apollo?_

_-RRR_

Mocking Red Creeper,

Language, Creeper! Ever heard of a pseudonym? *rolls eyes* I don't go marching around like a total dolt, telling people my real name! Unlike you, Evil Day.

-AF II

_Polly Pocket,_

_ Did Carter and Sadie Kane tell you that?_

_-RRR_

Tomato Face,

Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. They are way nicer and cooler than you. Now you never told me your opinion on them. Since they are technically your niece and nephew, and all.

-AF II

_Little Miss Sun Spot,_

_ Let's see... Sadie Kane is a bossy little girl with really jacked up hair and a funny accent. Carter Kane is a know it all who really tanks at basket ball. I mean, seriously? I bet even I could beat the boy! They think they are all that because they are Kanes and the beat me once. I may be sworn not to hurt them, but I can still annoy the ba out of them._

_-RRR_

Cherry Bomb,

I just noticed something!

-AF II

_Miss Un-hai-kool,_

_ *unenthusiastically* What?_

_-RRR_

Leroy the First,

Your opinions suck. I'm leaving somewhere where I will hopefully never hear you or your messed up opinions ever again.

-Apollo Fowl II

**Apollo Fowl II has removed you from her contact list**

_Poetr-idiot,_

_ No! MY opinions are beast! I will become ruler of the gods and _Ha-di_ you into the Duat, Fowl!_

_-RRR_

**Apollo Fowl II has blocked you**

On Apollo Fowl II's FanFiction Forum

_HA! Now you can't avoid me!_

**You have been banned from Apollo Fowl II's forum**

**Time Period: Forever**

_*scowls*_

_Rocking Red Reaper is out._

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><p>I hope this made you guys laugh. That was one heck of a dare! :D Don't like it? Don't review! Simple as that. Thank you for reading this and I will cherish each and every one of your reviews.<p>

**_Peace_**

**_FanFiction_**

**_Review_**

**_Fin_**

**_- Apollo Fowl II_**


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